I’m dying to tell you all about what I made last night. DYING. But I can’t.
I know, what a way to start, right? But I just can’t tell you yet. You see, I have to wait two whole weeks before it’ll be ready. And if I have to wait for two weeks, you have to wait for two weeks. I’m sorry. Them’s the breaks.
Instead, I’m going to talk about oatmeal. (Wait, where are you going?)
Specifically, the politics of oatmeal. (No, come back!)
Bear with me, because I’m about to make a statement that just might be downright un-American: oatmeal doesn’t have to be sweet.