All right. Now that that’s out of my system, let’s talk about Chinese food.
I’m a born-and-bred American Jew. Chinese takeout is woven into our cultural identity just as much as latkes, candles, guilt and the uncanny ability to sniff out other Jews at fifty paces. But I’m not entirely in lockstep with my people on this one. I’m picky about my Chinese food.
It’s either gotta be dirt-cheap from a buffet line–cloyingly sweet, glistening with oil and heavily impregnated with MSG–or expensive, meticulously authentic and preferably homemade. The middle-of-the-road Amurrican Chinese menu, the kind you find at ninety percent of sit-down Chinese places, just doesn’t do it for me. With one exception.
I’m a damn fool for scallion pancakes.